The sugar sachet

That single sachet a perfect metaphor

The wind swept beach, the peace, the sea - just us
It was beautiful to see you after a week
As we meet to catch up and have our lunch
For me to listen, look and hear your answer
To a question I asked about the nature of us

Your distant eyes staring at the crashing sea
Waves upon waves of words inside your head
Reaching your tongue, breaking upon your lips
Their spray washing across our faces
As their cooling meanings start to unfold
Slowly squeezing my heart,
Doing my best to disguise the pain.

All spoken in a mindful but uncertain voice
The hidden doubts left me confused
Leaving me wanting to help heal the rift
I see inside you - causing you distress

The meal finished and the real business done
We ordered coffees, a cappuccino for you
A risky affair from the start in such a strong wind
The coffees arrived and immediately your froth was lost
One strong gust puffed and spent - it was gone
The cooling milk sprayed from the cup
Flung across the table the mess begun

Then came your sugar sachet
My sweet heart held in your hands
Torn and opened the video begun
A brief coy look and uncertain laughs
Showing doubt and internal pain
The sweetness spread everywhere
Except where it belonged
A metaphor for where
my feelings for you had gone
Across the table of your life
Sweet scattered crumbs
Maybe not enough reaching and touching
the waiting cup to swallow me
and accept me within your warm heart

More coffee, more sugar, a less windy day…………?!!

Go Donny Q Go!!

Love is for shining
Not for hiding away
Love needs light and air
Its spirit is free
It should not be denied
or kept out of sight
Love should be allowed to grow
It should not be stunted
Or cut off in its prime
Let it flourish and reach its peak
Let it be fully explored
Cherish its time to the full
The moments become memories
They stay for ever
To recall and feel again
The bursting radiance
Of a heart filled
with life and love

"Thus Far.." Don Quixote

We have such a short time left together..
But a life can be lived in moments like these
A chance to give and share fully is a rarity
I feel we are capable of this
The connection and feeling we have
To loose this chance to strike it rich

To question too much
To follow a vow come what may
when circumstances change
If the brain fights with the heart
the heart should win
We know ourselves apart from each other
What joy knowing ourselves together

My love for you won’t change
I want to deepen it and share myself
My beauty with your beauty
To treasure memories into our futures
Precious jewels in our splendid crowns
Lets be rash, impetuous, heart lead
Do you fancy going to bed!!

The first time................

The first time I saw you
The first time I saw your eyes sparkle as you turned my way
The first time I heard your laugh bubble up
I knew
The first time you used my name
The first time you gave me a private look
The first time you made me laugh
I knew
The first time we began to tell our story
The first time we brushed together
The first time we winked and smiled
I knew

The first time I discovered you wonderful voice
The first time I saw your radiant smile
The first time I felt tongue tied as you sat by my side
I knew
The first time you discussed your art
The first time you showed vulnerability
The first time you called me friend
I knew
The first time we swam in the sea
The first time we giggled and laughed
The first time we lay on the beach to chat
I knew

The first time I noticed your wonderful hands
The first time I felt your light touch
The first time I saw your shoulder blades above your wrap
I knew
The first time you made my heart skip
The first time you talked of your life
The first time you enjoyed my food
I knew
The first time we shared a coconut at sunset
The first time we began to open up
The first time we knew we are in a stew!
We knew

The "Ice cream" man

For six months I will forsake “men”
What ever the cost to me and to them
If I meet a charmer with a true heart
If we connect well that’s a shame

Because I have given up “men”
That’s my decision and that’s my choice
I want my space and simplify things
As relationships add confusion to my life

I am on a diet - in it there is no “men”
I can draw close and take succour
But I need to be me to be free
I need to be single this is what I see

But what treats they can be “men”
For me the “chocolate ice cream!”
Something I love and enjoy
There is this guy who could be..?

But wait he is a lovely “man”
And what is this diet all about
Is it my brain taking control?
What does my heart say of this?

He is real and true - a “man”
Genuine feelings expressed
To loose the chance of bliss
A gentle loving kiss

Vows I have set against “men”
Or are they against my self
I have control but maybe I should let go
And see where it, this journey flows

I know my self and HE is a “man”
A poet and sculptor, a heart aware
Wanting to share himself with me
What is wrong with another step?

The heart on the sleeve “man”
Too much at stake to stay hushed
he feels scared but its right to speak up
One step at a time there is no rush

Venus

Old smells hint of degeneration
The rascal smiles still the same
Are desire and youth lost?
A frail body but the lust still strong
Longing for the same thing
No shame trying to get a rise

Beauty there and gone
As fame and fortune fade
Reading actors obits
Comodes for shit
As the catheter drips
Urine on the persian carpet

All women are beauty to men
Earthy beauty not objects of desire
But warm flesh and blood
Beating hearts, curves and smells
They maketh a man and
Make living worthwhile

Venus swears and drinks
But beneath she is pure but hurt
Stolen from her a first born love
Stunting corrupting her character
She was sent into your path
To learn of love again as you depart

Sips of beauty supped
Sad melancholy and rage
Mix with pleasured life
Loss and hurt lived
Toes dipped in every pond
Paddling in the cold sea

Purity found between you
As you shed your shoes and socks
Desire sated and a dignity arrives
Amongst the groynes and the rocks
Death comes and yourself found
In the comforting arm of refreshed love

A synopsis of film by the same name!

picture puzzle

Each day with every step
Lived fully a feeling grows
An awareness inside
of a more integrated whole.

With insights, gifts of intuition
pieces of the puzzle fit
slowly, slowly but each time
more clearly the shape appears
of who I am and what I will
be when re-complete

The picture box discarded at birth
and the pieces strewn to be
re-gathered, patiently collected
bits lost hidden and re-found
The shape of me fills and grows
The gaps close shine and flow

Much work is to be done
but an end of searching is closer
A new beginning ghostly is in sight
the veil is lifting the future is bright