My source

My mind - its conscious part
is like a screen
My deeper self
the projector shining a beam

intuition and heart
painting with words
telling stories with pictures
leading me to understanding

Letting go of control
the bulb warms and glows
flickering images stray
across my minds eye

listening and receiving
I type the words
opening the path
to the deeper part of my soul

Diamond bright

You are diamond bright
but not hard or ungiving

You sparkle as a drip
of morning dew in the sun

You shimmer as the glint
of sunrays reflecting

You gently illuminate
like moon light in languid water

You light up all around
YOU
radiant and vital

Steamy mirrors

Imperfect knowledge
you dont get to know
not quite so fast
you think you know me
you rub a bit in the corner
and the mirror begins
to appear a reflection
of self in me

a draft
a door opens
and the mirror disappears
new found discovery lost
in new mist and steam

understand the door
understand the draft


Rub away again
more of the mirror
will appear discover more
of yourself and the other
less haste and more
gentle understanding

without assumptions
without presumption

balance draft and steam
and the mirror will clear
self discovered then
in the other

AIDs

Planetary time bomb
ticking tick tock
tick tick clock
quietly away
hour by hour
each second
a groan and a stir
a moan and a spurt
and issue of the issue
a child with aids
unnatural parents
grandma tired
spent alive at least
reliving
old rhythms
old lives
nature perverted
missing vital parts
parentless children
destiny what
destiny
tick tock
Bang

Real Beauty

You are beautiful
Honesty resides in you
Your heart is beautiful to me
It is complete radiant and free
I know you are real and true
so you will be strong and renew

I am beautiful but some
Ugliness masks my real heart
I need to vanquish the shroud
Rid myself of this dark cloud
To be complete –be whole
So I can enjoy a purer soul

Drinking with my thief Daryl

A coffee bar a table and two chairs
The thief and the victim facing each other
the victim in a position of inner peace and strength
the thief fiddling nervous uncertain

this is not the normal way things go
The crime yes but the impact is not seen
the forgiveness and understanding
strange and new - getting under his skin
Their past was linked he was liked then
and still liked now but choices aren't easy
his mum doesnt sew but still uses needles
the neighbourhood small and tough

Life for the victim easier than for the thief
but is this a turning point
a chance for change
will there be more crime or less
will he see other possibilities
or get sucked back in
who is who and what is what
society and the neighbourhood
aren't there to assist
will the victim's faith be enough
will the thief become a man

What is in a smile

A smile is a gift if given well
A perfect way to communicate without words
such tenderness such joy such love
wrapped up in the face of a smile

It must be given at no cost to yourself
it should have no falseness or pretence
a genuine smile is enveloping a catalyst
for harmony and truer understanding

it draws you nearer to others
and it goes far beyond the mind
it reaches straight to the heart
to an ancient primal level of thought

Feeling like an alien

We are part of the same race
so they say it is what we are taught
yet there is a difference so huge
i sometimes wonder if it is true

People charge head long in to life
not thinking not seeing not being
from childhood on they dont rest
the race is on and they will win

they will get to the grave first
the journey is not the thing
quantity of experience the prize
quality takes second place

I watch and muse and try to grasp
why so few chose to think
I feel alone at times and on the edge
different and at odds with "life"

A lens of clarity appears to me
in these moments of reflection
free from restriction and aware
of the vast learning still to come

depth is what I strive for
not shallow surface satisfaction
I am moving beyond these needs
moving to a different place

I see the sun and a peaceful land
I see the moon in the dark water
I see love and compassion
I see humility and harmony

I see the truth of who I am

Unmasking masks

We want to be beautiful
to be seen for how we appear
external overriding internal
in our heads this aint queer

babes with big busts
guys with chiseled jaws
hunting packs or as lone wolves
tawdry sex bodies being pawed

the other end of the scale
violence and drinking intrude
the extra fat and the broken nose
drunken crass and lewd

which role is which
and whose face is who
each with their own masks
outside rules their only cue

drinks and fake beauty
neither right or wrong
elevate our self image
do they let us sing our song

underneath our daily masks
worker, family and lovers
what is our true honest self
remove the mask and discover

"Banana man"

Foot tapping, fingers drumming
nerves not the drink.
We step out and rumours
of banana man start to spread

"There is a super hero in town"

Drinks arrive feet stop tapping
gloved fingers still around a glass
Many people say hello and pose
for pictures with the hero

We sit and eat and tell stories
daring do and different rigs
stretch limos and the comedy value
of mixing viagra with wearing kilts

The evening continues, drink flows
attitudes harden as bouncers make requests
about crossing the line.
Banana man holds a mirror to reflect
and causes me to smile and chill out

Time ticks and the tempo rises
the Fez bar is filled with dance action
and chat as the lightening feet of
banana man cause a stir

The end approaches
we stagger home
the super hero says goodnight
another evening of delight

Hands of a clock 2

We are borne into the world
a face of a clock starts
at birth we are one
our soul and ourselves

as time moves on we grow
we lose touch as we learn
to mimic to pretend
to appease and please

At intervals thing gel
hands come together
and we rejoin our soul
joy peace and heart

time drifts we loose
this peace this state
gentle real and found
in the young and old

midnight approaches
no more need for pretense
no need to fake. we are real
and ready to move beyond

time ceases to have meaning
life beyond life to bliss
find this in life or find it in death
the hand stops new life begins

tube eyes 2

She glances across the aisle
he is not looking, asleep
or at least pretending to
avoidng eye contact with her

her look has so much in it.
sadness at what might have been
tenderness at what is and could be
gentle resignation at the status quo

love in an old couple with scars
with shared history and lost
opportunity but other gains
sustaining and binding hearts

eating alone

sitting inside with a rug on my knee
slurping my soup aged eighty three

I look back on life sitting all alone
my memories though have not gone

all my friends flood in and say hi
as i sit, i reflect, smile and sigh

remembering times i used to moan
about eating when i was on my own

we all are in the final call born
our own unique person to form

we live our life the best way we can
and come to terms with the man

as we near our own passing we see
all along our true singularity

and smile and trust in our passing
that we leave happiness that is lasting

the small things matter

A grand gesture is what we see
the leaders purport to set us free

the bigger the better, a news worthy slot
trying so hard to be seen, for this we plot

behind these scenes ordinary folk
carry on in truth behind this media cloak

daily doing gentle small loving things
not pretending or expecting to be kings

humble and kind but strong as rock
they continue as others cruelly mock

they do the small things that matter
amongst the world torn by media clatter

knowing in their heart the emptiness that lies
in the western glib glitsy shallow cries

In touch with soul

how do we get in touch with our soul
what can we learn from the worlds poor
less questioning of mystery
understanding that all is not known
all can not be explained

they understand the simple truth
we are all the same underneath
the vulnerable have already
shed their cloak as they survive
they co-exist with life
they witness death
see it know it as life

We hide behind our clothes
of civilisation naked beneath
weak and tender uncertain
death is our mystery
it makes us afraid
scared to be in touch with
the universe and our soul

hands of a clock

Cold musty alone in a tunnel
winding the wind in my face
blowing - it is weary and long
not ending

that quietness

days like these are few
as the hands of the clock drift
apart like my souls peace

as time moves on it is another day
it feels like the day that the hands
of the clock have come to rest again
contented to stay put and
time loses all its meaning

hands together not wanting to move
warm fresh and together in side
still the gentle breeze
caressing calm and the rest
not ending

that calmness

life then in a cloud of contentment
but the wind strengthens and time
starts again life goes in full circle
as we learn the difference between

that quietness

and

that calmness

(Not) Making sense of a death

Trite platitudes make me angry
"time heals" it makes me sick
I want to kick
"kids wont suffer much"
I just want to punch
they say "I understand"
this I cant stand
"You need to get out"
Now I SCREAM AND SHOUT
so they really know
what this is, what I am about
so they begin to grasp
something happened
it should not could not
was never in my plans

Now to live or to die inside
is a choice I make
second by second
day by day
to join my love or stay
and give my love
to our children
such a part of our love
I struggle and inside
tearing torment reigns
how can they say such things
I treat inwardly with such disdain
it leaves me cold all my power
keeping me in control
shaking inside
I rage against it all

Tube eyes

Standing crammed
In your face voyeur
you have to look or hide
behind words on paper

A couple cuddle and hug
smiles kisses and
such a brightness
sparkles in her eyes
and a smile so warm
a pure intensity
innocently observed

Words said in a language
not understood

a cloud appears
a shadow passes
over her face

what was said? and why
to lose such a gift
a sudden storm
frowns and down
cast eyes glint no more
more steel in her

a hug shrugged off
sad to watch this change