24 year old twins - peace must live

An interview with a twin

Iraq is a war for hearts and minds
A place where weapons of peace
are made tested and refined
A question: is a diifference being made?

A patrol a road side bomb
a call at 7.00am from my commander
confusion frenzy and friends
bad news brother hospital rush

taken to the bed of my twin
the scans tell me a story as large
as that writ on the doctor's face
a head injury - its only a matter of time

Calls home shock and stuppor
tick tock time passing along
a connection so strong so weak
John's hand is warm I hold on

We talk and joke friends reminisce
We know he hears he does not speak
It is all against the clock
his wounds damage make him weak

Tick tock the sickness the shock
10 hours later and the monitor goes flat
I grip his hand now limp and cry
the warmth begins to fade and grow

We came into the world together
A bomb and shrapnel change that
I was with him at his end
His new beginning begun

The hearts and mind still there
the peace still to be won
We have a job to do it matters
John died Iraqis die
but peace must live on

Losing, Grief and Hurt

Any loss causes what?
Do all sentient creatures feel it
Are humans special in this way
what does it mean to find?

Losing things
losing friends
losing lovers
losing family

Is there a scale like the wind
Who decides this ?
What is the right and the wrong
Where have they actually gone?

Loss leads to grieving
if you chose that way
greiving leads to hurt
searing tearing pain

What hurt do you suffer
How strong is the wind
how long does it blow
torment and torture
through your life

Is it possible to lose
and feel no hurt?
is it possible to lose
and ultimately let go?

Can time pass allowing healing to occur
so memories become joyful
The happiness rippling forward
letting the good spirits live on

How would you like to be remembered?
Do you want to be a burden on those left?
to see those you love suffer your loss
by carrying their grief heavy and long

OR

Would you like them to be lifted
see them strengthened by the joy
your life held for them singing
praise and remembering you.

An irreplaceable part of their life
always special always unique
now untainted by change and time
theirs to hold close to their heart

Opportunity and daring

We walk forward in life
towards our future
heart closed heart open
hands tied or beseaching
hands imploring or cupped

we walk forward head up
or bowed and cowed
still our future comes to us
inevitable available to be grasped

What change in us what daring
inspiration needs to appear
to light our way onwards
to gain strength and heart

frustrations can limit us
as awareness grows within
be free to be free and curious
to risk as adventures await

we will walk tall towrds the light
hands soft and open seeking
to touch the world and hold
our hearts up to the light

"Giving is so easy!"

To give is to bleed,
to bleed is to die
an easy thing a cut,
and blood drips out
deepen it and it pours
giving giving leads to a death
what succour is needed to replace
this flow of life this flow to death

Life is two way
life is inside and out
to live is also to receive
to drink in nourishment
to seize and swallow from the cup
held up and offered by others
drink deep and quench the thirst
the thirst of giving but stop
balance the in and out

only to receive is to bloat
and swell with uncertainty
and ultimately to burst and shrink
the cups being offered
withdrawn one by one

both excesses lead to loneliness
inside and an emptiness of the soul

To Baker Street and beyond

bedspring creak rattle and bump
plinkety plinkety plinkety clack
shake bump and screach
plinkety plinkety plinkety
flash instant light and discharge
clatter bump bump screach
lean clatter screach and bump
smooth cruise lean bump
clackety cruise lean and clunk
screach screach click groan
day light patch weeds and sky
snaking serpent glisten silver
tunnels mouth dark and bricks
cables speeding snakes
lithe black neat and straight
bump clackety clack
points chunk bump and clunk
screaching slowing slowing
tinny voice crackle fuzz and hiss
stop daylight poeple hustle
disgorge swosh hiss and buzz
pitter patter clatter swosh clunk
bedspring creack rattle and bump

Thoughts are angels

My thoughts are my angels
When I close my eyes I see
tiny ephemeral rings floating by
Questions never allowed to be

My thoughts invisible but to myself
never let out never seeing the light
These expressions of my self my
angels are champions for their rights

These wonderful gifts of intuition
need a forum a place to be alive
a page a poem a spoken word
For this my angels strive

My angels some times escape
and fly free to inspire thought
A bright light shared for others
the glow in anothers lantern caught

window on my soul

The window on my soul is opening
It is a good window and strong
it has weathered storms and cold
and has been closed too long

The rain has passed me by now
and the window is clean
sparkling in the sunshine
my soul can now be seen

The view from inside gets bigger
As the window opens wide
my spirit flows out and others flow in
the light shining in nowhere to hide

Being seen

The most feared thing
to be exposed and raw
to be at someones mercy
opened up to the core

vulnerable and visible
available and seen
soft and defenseless
as we all have been

As a childs innocence
When did we last feel
that abandonment of self
that purity is so real

As we age and grow
we earnestly desire
what we see in youth
to which we again aspire

Are we to be really seen?
Are we able to really see?
Who is doing the seeing?
what do we let others see?

The mind under siege

My mind reaches points
so many thoughts crowd in on me
there are so many at one time

They are like drops, starting slow
as the storm front approaches
the surface of my mind slowly

turns wet as the tempest advances
on me heavier drops. drops now
beauty, pain, profound in depth

shattering the stillness of my core
this flood a down pour besieging
my senses being overwhelmed

my head running out of space
no where to collect them hold them
this vessal this me is overflowing

but there is no outlet
it is just inside my head
its size limited by my belief

Writing them down
saying them out loud
Will they be found?

Expanding my horizons
finding the release I must
free some space inside

The storms are passing
their distant shadow across
the lake still again and calm

It is in me to be free
looking in the minds surface
will my cypher be found?

Permission to love

To forgive and to forget. Is this correct?

I can see now with more clarity
a past mistake that left a mark
deep through my life invading
so much of me, a limiting cloak

shrouding such an innocent part
the bit of me that receives which I
in turn disguise in excessive giving
as a pennance for screwing up

the first time of physically receiving love
such pleasure and joy so long
had this been bursting to be free
embracing caressing an accepting touch

a new way to explore the giving gift
wanted and waited for so long
life opening up to new possibilities
a great new world coming into view

the consequence of the act of love
the most significant of all
creation of a life should be such joy
a three way journey into love

my brief innocence lost
the freedom just found boxed
closing down this availability
this permission to love

filtering all, feeling unworthy of feeling
acting to please all a shadowy shell
of myself untouched and untouchable
innocence corupted and twisted

confused in my self, distorting how I can be
a bursting desire to reconnect
is surfacing and my self worth growing
ackowledging my presence in the world

Inside me the biggest gift to receive
acceptance of past mistakes
forgiveness of self knowing
I am enough knowing I can be free

"What will you be?"

To Teak, Lou and Zak

The dreams the voices in my head
The words I said
and the ears not listening
creates a split in me a gap

A leap in time and anger surfaces
small glimpses in the strong box
a pressure building questions
Afraid where will it lead

Reflection begins we to try and see
where the box was acquired
we look back and see the energy force
white blue redy orange and black

We see it, feel its ardour and spirit
It feels scary strong and vital
A power within to repsect
A force for good intent

Gently in our way we climb inside
Going with what comes trusting
instinct and body not mind
A moment of wow and surprise

streaming building blocks pour out
pour in to every little place
the far reaches nourished and filled
the small vessal only residue left

A source of light thousands of pin pricks
streaming out filling warming and giving
light and energy to feel and see the merging
of parts the whole of me

A white shadow a spirit form
watching a little apart
a trace of the anger stored
a genie now out of the box

We close our eyes then "I can see"
a snake a symbol a joining
the double helix a coming home
a reconnection of self with self

A future opens up
A unified unifying voice
A call to action
"What will you be?"

Walking forward in time
I see an endless white sheet
surrounding me from my centre
gently undulating rippling out

my children playing in purity and fun
my life my future there to be lived
a clean slate to fill with positive intent
fully connected and as one

Giving and receiving

Words come hard the truth is deep
Digging and searching listening hard

Givng so much easier to make amends
forgiving what? and is it doing the job

closed filtering not seeing
what is giving no strings attached

hiding from possibilities from more
so much more to come. LIFE

A heart welling with desire to help
emptying the place so crucial to fill

opening up and receiving love
experience it flowing in filling

life can not be one way to mean
life is balance and trust

A sadness wells and tears form
knowing healing is to come

A gift received opened the mind
and awakened a possibility

Held and cherished this instinct
a trust to free and to be

The eyes have it all

All is found there
All can be seen in them
All is seen by them

They hold the key
They are beauty to me
They are the world

What a place to stay looking
What a reflection of self
What a place to see a soul

A gateway
A bridge
The connection

The eyes have it all