Permission to love

To forgive and to forget. Is this correct?

I can see now with more clarity
a past mistake that left a mark
deep through my life invading
so much of me, a limiting cloak

shrouding such an innocent part
the bit of me that receives which I
in turn disguise in excessive giving
as a pennance for screwing up

the first time of physically receiving love
such pleasure and joy so long
had this been bursting to be free
embracing caressing an accepting touch

a new way to explore the giving gift
wanted and waited for so long
life opening up to new possibilities
a great new world coming into view

the consequence of the act of love
the most significant of all
creation of a life should be such joy
a three way journey into love

my brief innocence lost
the freedom just found boxed
closing down this availability
this permission to love

filtering all, feeling unworthy of feeling
acting to please all a shadowy shell
of myself untouched and untouchable
innocence corupted and twisted

confused in my self, distorting how I can be
a bursting desire to reconnect
is surfacing and my self worth growing
ackowledging my presence in the world

Inside me the biggest gift to receive
acceptance of past mistakes
forgiveness of self knowing
I am enough knowing I can be free