Looking well

We need to look deep inside
at the emotions still held within
Where our true feelings reside
Is in our heart not in our mind

Look deep, deep deeper still
To really feel the truth and hurt
The choice once made will
Free growth and thought

A decision made is what we need
With responsibility and inner trust
Feelings 2 thoughts are creative seeds
A new spring watered with tears released

Bulbs

planting bulbs
I wait for spring
and a garden of joy

My fathers shoes

I look down at my feet

and see the shoes I wear

the clack of heals on the street

polished and treated with care

The shoes belonged to my father

brown leather brogues that shine

walking in them now I gather

feelings of his feet with mine

this brings a smile to my face

knowing we are walking together

I look bright and pick up the pace

remembering hill walks and heather

the peeble

the jagged rock

punches the water

the water gives way

the punch the splash

the punch the splash

it happens a thousand times

the punch the splash

the water gives 

the rock gets wet

over time the rock 

wears smooth

to a pebble

so smooth

it looks wet

all the time

this is how anger

and compassion

coexist

Warm Heart

There is so much tenderness inside
a gentle flesh giving and sweet
willing kindness in the violence
an openness is creeping in
small glints of warmth within
churning joy of unshown pride
showing a tender side to all
the heart wants so much
it is bursting inside its cage
weeping sad at lost chances
tears cooling the rage and distance
the anger creates around
wanting release to live a life
for things to be open free to be
to heal old hurts and the new
then i can love and be loved
spring of youth unbudding
with smiles and kisses
we all gain strength in joy
your life is hard
dare you dream to succeed
dare we dream to love
heart to heart
PEACE

Cold Heart

Young tenderness soon

learns to grow up tough
exposed edges are torn loose
keep them in tight and close
let no chinks show in the armour
act big and hard showing nothing
show no emotion to the outside
to attract a taunt or slap
an aggrieved heart rages inside
volcanic lava flow smolders
contained in a rock hard cover
bursting to unleash a torrent
of hot spewing red anger
so long held in and now
I can be all these hidden things
it tears in side it rips and cuts
knowing i am who i hated
crushing young  spirits

with words and fists
me - you no one wins
this life my life is hard
how dare you dream
dare we 
hurt
PEACE

Dark heart lightens

STRONG or WEAK WEAK or STRONG

Young tender growing tough there is so much tender inside

exposed edges torn loose gentle flesh giving and sweet

keep in tight and close willing kindness in the violence

let show no chinks in armour openness creeping in

act big hard show nothing small glints of warmth within

show no emotion outside churning joy of unshown pride

to attract a taunt or slap showing a tender side to all

The heart rages inside the heart wants so much

volcanic lava flow smolders bursting inside its cage

contained in a rock hard cover weeping sad at lost chances

bursting unleashing a torrent cooling the rage the distance

of hot spewing red anger the anger creates around

so long held in and now wanting release to live a life

I can be all these hidden things to be open and free to be

it tears in side it rips and cuts to heal old hurts and new

knowing i am who i hated then i can love and be loved

crushing young spirits  spring of youth unbudding

with words and fists with smiles and kisses

you-me no one wins we all gain strength in joy

all this is  life my life your life is hard

how dare you dream to succeed

dare we dream to love

hurt to heart

PEACE

December in the garden

Cold winter working

A chill in the air

Storm clouds brewing

already imagine  

the tea in the pot

Bulbs to plant in a new bed

croci and daffodils 

snowdrops and tulips

a patient cold burial 

in clods of damp earth

Hands chilled and grimy

sticky mud caked boots

nails black with dirt

red robins watch intently

for wriggling  worms 

Cold through as you 

step back indoors 

looking forward to spring

boots off - find the teabag and milk

the kettle is filled and on

Ping the kettle is boiled

pouring in a cloud of steam

the bag squeeze of every juicy drop

fingers wrapping around the mug

a glow spreading happy content

as you warm your hands again 

the anticipation of growth

patches of white drops

bright yellow clumps 

forgotten and remembered

when they emerge to joy

dark early life waiting to burst

a short day passes 

as the festive season comes

investing in the future

planning for the beauty 

natures growth begun

touching untouchable

My body  beautiful

my mind a joy to me

I eat well and care

what fuels me to live

I cover my skin 

the sun is bright 

I am viewed 

for how i look

not for who i am

I am a whole

mind and body

make me feel

complete

To those who see

only fleshy delight

I stay aloof 

untouchable

saddened 

by their

limited 

view 

Treat me as one

body mind 

then i am free

to be me 

touch me 

hold me 

speak with me

learn me

truly 

know me

open me 

kiss me

be with me

The visit of an Angel

Angels come and touch you
they open you up to yourself
to live to be the special one

feather like and brief
their visits are at times
when the conscious guard is down

You learn and choose a better way
to express what is contained
inside your mortal frame

Each visit ephemeral and light
is profound to those who see
for those souls touched with mystery

there is sadness each time they go
the glimpse allowed of your truth
requires a trust in their good intent

it needs you strong and knowing
knowing if needed they will return
they may look different or the same

However they appear welcome them
their lessons are ancient and wise
enjoy them and be with them gently

Red is our colour

Red is our colour
The world is seen
in different ways
through different eyes
at different times

The world is viewed
in different colours
bathed in different lights
and difference shines

we share the world
we are the same
bright eyes look out
during the day

We dream at night
of hopes and desires
thoughts grasped
hidden by our closed lids

Infinite world of colour
our blood the same
pumping red
hot rich in life
cold thick in death

An interview with Doctor death

To be around death and see such suffering
He waits for signs of death
to see the moment happen
They give him the name Doctor death

You ask condemned men to be research victims?
We do what we want - unconscious to their pain
The doctor the instrument of death?
We leave with the learning gained

Are you a shade of Mengele or manchuria?
No and are you not horrified by brutality
of hanging or frying in the chair
This would be the best sort of mortality

Do you feel creepy or nutty ?
It doesn't matter - you get called names
every time progress is being made
people and press play their games

Have you experienced life? Or too close to death?
Is this world not too full of hatred death is rife
look at children in Iraq. You are wrong
I have seen them and heard they want life

I wonder have you ever lived?
how about love?

what is your purpose?
I do not need this religion L_O_V_E

i am "in life" I judge for my self
Maybe an arid rationalist?
but not always rational (chuckle)
some mistakes have been made

You let people die
in the back of your van.
Do you feel personal discomfort?
No it is out of my hands

I did what the patient wanted
every other place refused

the van was clean
it was all i could use

Did the Nazis not do the same with gas?
NO informed consent is the difference
In extreme pain can they be informed?
A man like me can see if they make no sense

Do you ever doubt your sanity?
Do you have capacity for self criticism?
I have no doubt what is my duty
wishes are those of life's victim

I do not change the patients wants
I did what i knew i had to do

It is now an international issue?
I was refused a constitutional review

I served 8.5 years you just
put your mind to it if you choose
I was never frightened
just aware of a short fuse

You are now dying yourself?
I have hepatitis C

I think of death each day
when i go it will be right for me

i am selfish too - I want a choice
self determination must grow
with the law. I want the option
How could a law say no?

However fear controls most
it grips and death lingers long
you are born with all natural rights
the high court challenged this - its wrong

Does your legacy not matter?
Religious hatred will come
but I know my truth
i know what i am to become.

I fight for rights a choice
to free people to release
allow them to live free
or die in their peace

This gap is but space

A poem of a LoVe

I roll over
in the morning
smiling,
excited

to be alive
to be next
to you.

a tickle or two
a little slap
on the bum.

Grasping your
nakedness
I roll atop of you
giggling gazing
into your eyes
deeply

One day
this will be so
time to learn
to ready for
missions
of compassion

This gap
is
but a mere
space

you are
already here
in my head
and heart

I feel you
and it makes
me glow
with love
for all
and one

the beauty of gray

We are the same inside
when we are born we cry
we suckle our mothers breast
we grow and live and die

our heart beats dah dum
we smile and laugh
our heart stops dah dum
friends grimace and frown

when we are cut we bleed red
when we fall and are bruised
we are nursed to health
we are young and old alike

our heart beats dah dum
We love and share
our heart stops dah dum
friends grieve and sob

Our colours are beautiful
our skin glows or not
is smooth or rough
our skin clean or impure

our heart beats dah dum
we give and receive
our heart stops dah dum
friends whisper and discuss

we are the same inside
our skin only a wrapping
holding bones and organs
red pink muscle rippling

our heart beats dah dum
we are all the same
our heart stops dah dum
we move beyond to joy

we should rejoice in difference
welcome the shared beauty within
as we do ourselves
seeing beyond the skin