The lake 1

Difficult and un-attained

I was told of a wonderful lake to bathe in called love
walking alone in a happy unaccompanied life
we met and smiled and felt a longing an urge.
We rushed off without acknowledging possible strife
and that route required attention and care
for the journey was not easy - uncharted
the dangers were plenty and we were unaware
We were in a hurry not wanting to miss a trick
to enjoy pleasures and our lives to enhance
A glimpse of a sparkling jewel in the distance
We thought of this as our chance
As our journey started the lake was soon obscured from sight
And the bushes grew to trees to breathless tangled forest
The sun dwindled and we walked in dim dappled light.
We strived hard for the right path so many to chose
and lost each others gentle grasp our bonds, un-nurtured, remained weak
left to find our own ways we drifted apart
both wanting our trip to the lake to be complete

As I lost you my focus narrowed - inward and confused
From my minds eye, the truth was blinded by hopes and possibilities
Hiding the hurt to come. I felt your path move steady and more sure
in my direction the vegetation thickened still and I found no way through.
The hill slope steepened and the ground grew hard and parched
more barren and stark no shelter from myself raw and true
rock strewn dusty and ethereal I was more distant remote
and removed. I looked in my head and found no pleasure there
Struggling alone and torn the cliff top I reached
the lake far below now just a dark mirror aware.
From the overshadowing cliff a view in the distance of a gentle
fertile land nourished from the lake by a welling stream
A call of your voice from below a siren or an angel
Drawing me forward still with uncertainty in my heart

A narrow dangerous ravine was the only chance left
Dangerous rocky thorny dark I was enclosed
Stumbling bruised and hurting the gully closed in
Hot tears of pain and heart ache fell from my face
Cooled and calmed in the mysterious depths
as the drops hit the lake below a ripple the only trace
Mournful sounds echoed around the cliffs
a thousand times and old as the landscape
Never reaching the safe lake, lonely maddening
selfish heart wrenchingly close there was no mental escape
inside and out no progress exhausted crushed
Mixing my tears a watery globe of missed opportunity
Shed and shared in the final moments of truth
limp and sad finally accepting with humility
I could not go this way to the lake the source of love

A choice to stay lost in the cold high dark place
or retreat the way I had come shattered battered and lost
scrabbling back to find another more careful way
I had learnt so much but at how much cost?
Another voice I heard encouraging lifting giving me heart
To try again another route on the journey to the lake
To make a fresh new and better start